scratching my niches: #10

dusting off the 'ol compass

from our summer adventuring in pure michigan. seeking out the ghost town of singapore, michigan.

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Hi folks 👋

During this transitional phase I’ve been blessed with (spending time with my kids as a stay-at-home dad), I’ve been thinking a lot about values, principles, and the beliefs that have been guiding me throughout this life. 

Though my moments of contemplation – thinking, questioning, challenging – have been persistent, the time and energy to make sense of those beliefs have been in shorter supply. 

Surprisingly, learning to be OK with not DOing something, or making sense of everything, and just BEing has been one of the greatest gifts of this whole experience. 

In this space of BEing greater clarity emerged, and the impact and insights derived from these fleeting moments felt meaningful, critical to capture, and both important and urgent to act on.

The actionable emphasis in all of this for me has been a deeper dive into principles – both existing and aspirational – and recognizing the unspoken or unseen principles I may or may not align with.

Starting with a solid foundation – the basics and fundamentals – is where the majority of growth, progress, and value comes from. We all intuitively know this. Start with the fundamentals, show up consistently, the growth compounds and you build leverage. 

If I’m not starting with principles and fundamentals, I’m just hacking my way through life... and I don't want to do that. I needed to revisit why principles are important, because they guide me.

So here we are, living my 1st principle: write it down, so you don’t forget.

What are principles and what do they mean to me? 

I was reminded to “wrestle with my principles” while listening to this great podcast a few months back. It talks about how principles drive decision-making and shape our lives – whether we're aware of them or not. The hosts distinguish between principles and values and examine what gives a set of principles their clarifying power. They also talk about how they’re used personally and within a business. 

As Ray Dalio defines in his excellent book of the same name, “Principles are fundamental truths that serve as the foundations for behavior that gets you what you want out of life.”

I see them as the guiding beliefs of what’s important, the reminders to stay true to who I am and want to be. They represent a mental model for how to approach a given challenge or get back on track. And when looking back, they help me appreciate the moments of living authentically. 

And why does that matter? 

Because this helps create a more enduring benchmark for success. 

My benchmark before this sadadical was primarily influenced by the expectations of others and external validation. In short, results-oriented. And while that served me financially, with prestige and a linear career progression, it wasn’t supporting the quality and growth of my life in other important ways. 

It wasn’t allowing me to be truly present with my kids, or anyone for that matter. It was causing me to always feel busy – hundreds of open loops hanging over my head every moment that mattered far less than the present moment I was in. I felt constantly pulled away in so many directions that I wasn’t maintaining my core principles. And it wasn’t sustainable for growth – it was draining. 

I was playing someone else’s game, not one I felt I could win or enjoy. I wanted to lean into my values and what piqued my interest. 

This new benchmark for success, literally being defined now, is measured by impact and value, quality of attention, and interest and energy. In short, presence and process-oriented. 

The desire for presence or mindfulness comes naturally to me, but to be honest, my ADHD makes actually BEing mindful an especially challenging task. I believe this is where my devotion to principles comes from, working so hard to be intentional and focused because I need it. Without the reminders, I’ll inevitably gravitate towards the urgent or novel.

Here are some of the principles I’m currently using:

• Write it down, so we won’t forget (explored here)

• How you do anything is how you do everything (more background here)

• Embrace intensity & resistance

• Movement is medicine 

• Live the questions / embrace uncertainty (started exploring here)

Here are a few areas for growth, or the aspirational principles I’m working to incorporate:

• Constraints breed creativity (combat perfectionism)

• Breathing is the essence of all life (breathwork practices and reset protocols)

• Consistency > Quantity (commitment to practice, progress, experimentation)

Ultimately, principles have helped me focus on the pursuit of happiness and contentment vs. focusing on outcomes and external validation.

This is a work in progress, always. But living the questions and unknowns, and embracing the resistance that comes up are all part of the game I want to play. So I’m recalibrating this anchor and compass to navigate not just this transitional voyage but the rest of my life. 

And as a parent, I think the best tool/skill we all hope to model and give our kids is their own internal compass to navigate both the world and themselves. 

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That’s all folks. Thanks for dusting off your compasses with me. Maybe I’ll do a deeper dive on some of these in the future. So if that’s interesting to you, let me know. 

Have you thought about how principles play a role in your life?

What’s worked well for you?

What are some of your principles? 

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If you’re interested in diving deeper, the links mentioned above along with a couple others here… 

• Art of Accomplishment podcast episode

  • It’s less about having the principles and more about the process… “Process of learning, not a process of knowing”

• Principles by Ray Dalio 

  • “Pain + Reflection = Progress”

• The Almanack of Naval Ravikant by Eric Jorgenson

  • So many nuggets craftily curated, distilling a ton of ideas down to practical advice and principles for happiness, wealth creation, decision-making, and personal growth. 

• VIA Character Strengths Survey

  • Interested in diving into values but don’t know where to begin? Character strengths are a great starting point. This free resource only takes about 15 minutes and there’s a ton of support content to interpret your results. This is also a core foundation of my coaching practice.